50 Shades of Putting a Noose Around My Neck

Caution:  If you are easily offended you might want to go read something else.

You know…..One time I tried to watch some of the Twilight series.  I heard from so many people that it was so great and that if I watched it I would be hooked, etc.  So I figure “Hey, why not?  I’m always looking for something to be addicted to.”  So I popped the tape in my vcr……hahaha kidding.  I started watching the movie and about 20 or 30 minutes into it I shut it off and swore that I would never, ever, ever watch that heap of garbage again.

They tried to suck me in with vampires.  They tried to suck me in with werewolves.  But they couldn’t overcome one simple problem.  I can only handle so many seconds of locking eyes.  There was so much eye locking and staring in that movie.  Do people really do that?  I mean would anyone really just want to spend that much time staring into someone’s eyes.  I don’t think so.  And I had a little theory about why this bugged me so much.

You see (to me) the gazes locking thing is good sometimes.  It’s a very romantic and passionate thing.  It’s a lot like icing on a cake.  I don’t really want to eat a cake without icing.  I mean, cake without icing would be alright if I was slamming it with a cold glass of milk but that sweet addition can make cake addictive.  Everyone I know likes their cake with icing.  Here’s the problem though.  I don’t know very many people that sit down with a can of icing and eat it with a spoon until it’s gone.  And why stop at one can?  Let’s just have a whole dinner dedicated, mostly, to icing.  It’s disgusting and frankly if you’re eating cans of icing at a time you have a problem so don’t get salty and indignant.  You gots da issues.

There are a group of people that will eat icing straight from the can like it was going out of style.  That group of people are known as “children”.  I remember as a kid I would love to pop open some icing and eat it with a spoon until I was ready to puke.  Maybe I just wasn’t mature to know any better, but I just knew that icing tasted the best.  Children have a much higher point of diminishing marginal utility than adults seem to.  If a child likes something or is interested in something they can do that activity over and over again until you’re ready to pull your hair out.  How many times did I have frozen playing in my house after that thing came out on DVD?  It was a lot.  I felt like I was sitting in an appliance store watching the same movie play over and over again.  The point is that I believe that Uber-Passion and it’s consumption is a sign of some things.

First, just so that I complete an earlier point, the reason why I started talking about Twilight when the title of this article is about 50 Shades of Grey is because 50 Shades is actually inspired directly by Twilight.  It was fan fiction dedicated to the relationship between the two main characters of the Twilight series.  The 50 Shades movie is an extension of the passion laden Twilight series and it has been very successful among one certain demographic, women.  Why is it that women tend to love this movie.  Not all women love it, but a lot of women just go crazy for this stuff.

Like I was saying about the consumption of “Uber-Passion”, why is it that women go crazy for this stuff?  I read an article on Yahoo! yesterday that said that this movie was breaking some records and the overwhelming majority of moviegoers were women.  I mean, they didn’t give a percentage, but the article said that it wasn’t even close.  Women attended far more than men.  What’s the old quote about once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence and three times is a trend?  I mean that to say that when you have a several movies (such as the twilight movies and the 50 Shades movie) that are massively successful and you have one demographic over populating the theaters that is the making of a trend my friend.

I believe that the kind of people that throw themselves into the movie are people that have a deficit of sorts.  You can be in denial about it and that’s fine.  But to me when you have a high tolerance, or a high amount of diminishing marginal utility for the consumption of something, no matter what it is, it can be attributed to a deficit in that thing or one of its components.  Now I’m not saying that the 50 Shades movie or Twilight is all passion.  I know from studying a little bit about screen writing that you can’t have a movie or a book without conflict and resolution, but I think in these cases there is a disproportionate amount of passion to the conflict and resolution.  It’s a little cake with a lot of icing.  It just seems to me that a lot of women who immerse themselves in this book might be lacking in the passion department.

It’s not a bad thing to want romance and passion.  But I think the reason why women love this movie is because women operate in the world of emotion more than men do.  A man, at his core, wants honor, power, victory, combat, etc.  Most women aren’t really wired to prioritize these things very highly.  It’s the same thing for women.  Most women want passion, emotional intimacy, to connect on a deeper level, security, etc.  Now I’m not saying that men won’t want what women want and women won’t want what men want.  But to a large degree we just prioritize these things differently and it affects the way we look at things.  Women want or need things from men that men are not naturally good at producing.  I think that another reason why these movies and books have been successful is because they are written by women, which in its own way is kind of creepy.  What I mean is that women are essentially getting what they need from another woman.  It’s like some kind of 3rd party homosexual relationship that you aren’t even aware that you’re having.  Take that with a grain of salt please, because i’m sort of joking.

Another thing that bugs me about it is that I believe that sex is highly personal.  I don’t take it lightly.  Even before I was married I wasn’t the kind of person that slept around.  I mean I wasn’t an angel but I didn’t like the idea of sleeping around.  It made me feel kind of dirty and I felt bad about myself.  So it kind of makes me feel weird to think that I would be in a room full of a hundred people or more watching people have sex on a screen.  It makes me feel weird if I am at my own home watching a movie with friends and an adult scene comes on.  I feel like jumping up and grabbing the remote to fast forward because it makes me feel uncomfortable when people are included in the reality of sex.  I have made jokes before about it, but the reality of sex is that deep down at my core it is personal to me.  It’s a spiritual thing.

I think this is a good lesson for men too.  Whether you’re a father, husband or boyfriend;  If you give them love, passion and emotional intimacy more often then they won’t feel the need to get it from somewhere else.  You don’t want them to be so desperate for these things that they will immerse themselves in a movie that exalts sexual violence just so they can experience the passion that they need.

Please feel free to share, like or follow!  Thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!


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